I Love Being an Adult

I had an amazing childhood. The best. The most supportive and loving parents, a beautiful and smart little sister, grandparents who spoiled the hell out of me and 8 cousins that I still call my best friends. I knew what I wanted to do from the age of 6 and m

y parents helped me achieve that goal from Day 1 - elementary school, middle and high. I had irreplaceable friendships that grew with my love for the arts in community theatre’s across my hometown that have now become roots throughout New York City that can instantly bring home every time I’m in their presence. Visiting home is equally a breath of fresh air as it is a constant reminder that I am right where I’m supposed to be.

But guess what? I love being an adult.

Going out whenever I want. Coming back as late as I like.

Traveling and taking international flights on my own time and at my leisure.

Making plans - sticking to them… having control of them.

There is something so liberating and freeing about being able to do literally anything I want and be whoever I want to be.

There are times where I feel it’s impossible that my childhood is over and times that I feel like any BUT an adult.

My goal for as long as I can remember has been to be an actress on Broadway. My entire young life I was a hamster running on a endless wheel, training for a marathon that seemed like it was never going to come. I felt safe there. I felt valued and seen. I owe that to my parents, my teachers and my mentors - feeling appreciated. I walk through my hometown to this day and at times can still feel like a mini ‘celebrity.’ My hometown was the launching pad that excelled me towards everything I wanted to be… and when I fall, it catches me again and shoots me right back up. It doesn’t let me fail. It’s a constant in my life.

Until my college years, I now believe I was a lot weaker than I initially thought. I always felt like I was on top of the world, but I had never struggled with self-doubt or had to battle outside forces telling me I wasn’t good enough. I confused confidence for cockiness and arrogance. I was probably - in some definition of the word - a narcissist. I was a good friend, but it was easy to be when my issues never seemed as large as others. I was a loving daughter, but my parents provided me with everything I ever wanted. I still value myself as a great friend, a loving daughter and I carry confidence with me everywhere I go - but something is different now.

I really understand what all of that means.

If I’ve learned anything, it’s to not take the positive things for granted… even when the negative outweighs the good.

I believe hardship and trauma comes in a lot of different forms — making me more understanding of reactions, compromise and others emotions. Being an adult has allowed me to see how everyone’s backgrounds shapes their opinions and their hurt as individuals and things some people would consider “not a big deal” will mean absolutely everything to someone else. Having (what felt like) everything and being loved so genuinely is the exact thing that made me feel weak when I entered the world on my own. All of it means so much more now.

My understanding of others is one of the greatest gifts of adulthood.

I graduated high school 8 years ago (whoa). College was a new world. Post-college life was an even newer world. I kept growing, learning and saturating myself in everything I could to keep being the best version of myself. I don’t expect a time where that will end or where I will ever want it to. I love the strength I have accrued over these last 8 years to maintain the same level of confidence I had when it was being handed to me every day.

I love that I’m a self starter, a hard worker, an equity actor and a non-profit founder all at the age of 25 years old.

I love that traveling the world has become a priority of mine and that I didn’t give that up because my younger self said “I was never going to be able to afford the luxury life that I wanted.” But I have and I do.

I love that I no longer value myself based on what men in positions of power think of me.

I love that my life experiences have allowed me to become a better actor than I ever dreamed.

I love that my younger self never doubted me for a second - whether I realized that or not.

I guess what I’m saying is… I do love being an adult.

But that is because my childhood still lives in me every single day.